The Ruff

The ruff, a seemingly dull-looking bird (click here for article with picture), is also an avid purveyor of the most literal dick to be covered in this series. A small percentage of the male ruffs have taken to transvestism in order to get laid; while other males engage in a complex mating display ritual, they sneak quietly around until the very moment a female bends over to engage in boning, at which point our friend literally jumps in and takes the spot, thus using his dick in the two worst ways dicks can possibly be used simultaneously – rape and cockblocking.

Sitting on the throne of sexual dickery does however leave such individuals with a rather sore backside. Looking like females and all, they will sometimes be misidentified by other males and penetrated accordingly, creating a sense that some depraved, sexual karma is at work.