The Liberal Democrats, led by the general all round useless man, Nick Clegg have introduced a new policy to entice the student voter. After the infamous betrayal of students through the tripling of university fees, which many argued was the inspiration behind George R. R. Martin’s Red Wedding.

Clegg’s most recent election promise of a First Class degree for all those who vote yellow this year has been met with some controversy. Many students believe a First is not enough and are demanding a minimum grade of 85 and free entry to Klute. After intense questioning from Flipside, ‘Judas’ Clegg revealed that he hoped to keep his promises and ensured us that his top ministers would sit each exam personally, with the exclusion of Theory and Practice of Literary Criticism because they didn’t quite understand what eco-criticism was.

Other parties have also responded to Mr Clegg’s proposals with David Camereon noting that he was unaware of the existence of both any degrees other than a first and Mr Clegg.