The Hallmarks of a Good Lecturer

Because we’re all at university to learn…

1) Calming voice

Very important to not talk too loud – you might wake some of us up.

2) An accent

Can confirm that Scottish, Australian and American are very soothing tones and are the top 10 for lecturer accents. This also may help with developing severe crushes on lecturers.

3) Slow intonation

So I can write down everything you’re saying and my notes don’t look like a chimp has scrawled them.

4) Preferably some relevance

If I get out of bed for a lecture on Philip Larkin, please can it be on Philip Larkin…plz?

5) HANDOUTS

2:2 for having a handout, 2:1 for having it including pictures, 1 if it has numbered quotations.

6) PowerPoint

I’m putting it out there: I like a PowerPoint – providing things are left up on the screen so I can write down names. In my mind, clicking next slide too quickly is a crime comparable to genocide.

7) Weird pictures

English is particularly good at showing pictures on the OHP that appear to bear absolutely no resemblance to anything and them wham! The lecturer explains it. I like the game of trying to guess how it’s relevant and always losing – keeps me on my toes.

8) Videos

Preferably on VHS so we all have to wait to find the right spot and reminisce about the old days of the tape (Freshers – google this). If the videos are weird then more marks for you – once in freshers, we had one about some monks who chanted and had their heads of fire: could not stop laughing.

9) The final, the biggie – ACTING

WE’RE TALKING RENAISSANCE DRAMA! WE’RE TALKING LECTURERS COMING IN TO CANDLELIGHT! WE’E TALKING ONE LECTURER ACTING WITH AN EXTRA LECTURER! WE’RE TALKING ONE LECTURER STABBING THE OTHER LECTURER! WE’RE TALKING FAKE BLOOD! WE’RE TALKING SKULLS! WE’RE TALKING DRAMA!

n.b. this actually happened in second year and it was the best moment of my life so far.