Episode 4 – Freddie on the left.

I think it’s about time we all talk about The Musketeers. If you haven’t seen it, it’s this strange little show on BBC1 Fridays at 9pm. It’s got a few people you may recognise and by that I mean it’s got Freddie from Skins 2.0 in it – remember the one who gets violently murdered by Effie’s therapist? Cook finds out and ends up going on a rampage? No… it’s on 4OD if you’re so inclined. Either way, Freddie has let his hair grow out now and has become French.

So The Musketeers is just a really weird programme: swashbuckling things happen each week and the person who plays the King of France has the finest example of moon face you’ll ever see. Genuinely. It’s perfectly spherical – even better than Cassie’s in Skins 1.0.

French Skins has intrigue, marginal violence, and some serious nasty going down – the baby prince is actually the son of a Musketeer, and the King keeps sleeping with the ex wife of another musketeer who that Musketeer tried to kill.

Thankfully when the musketeers aren’t in the bone zone, there’s just enough time to go to a few warehouse parties, snort a few lines, complete their A-level exams and find out their results at a friends’ funeral.

Oh wait. Hang on.