In the Style of Shaun KeavenyThe 6music breakfast presenter’s grave soft Lancashire voice talks to you in the morning like your favourite uncle waking you up when you were a child by walking into your room at seven a little drunk looking through your cupboard for his medication while telling you a story.

Hello
fumbling noise
Well good er
Good morning
Oh it’s only Wednesday
Thought it was Thursday
Do you remember that time
That time I
One second
(distant) Where is it?
Got it
Yeah do you remember that time I thought it was Thursday and it was actually Wednesday
Great stuff
Music plays
I don’t know where I end and the studio begins anymore
Anyway, we have got things on the show today
No, we have
We’ve got the usual things you want and demandLike
Small claims court,
Where you share a claim to fame
A small one
Music plays
Like
You once picked up a pen for Barry Manilow
But first a song by
A group you might not despise
they’re quite interesting
Song plays
Now it’s time for the 6music news
With Matt
Good morning Shaun
Good morning Matt
See we like each other we do
We do get on
Don’t we Matt
Background music plays
Today we’ve got some Mercury Prize news Shaun
Still never been invited
Just saying
I’ve never been invited
I don’t know.
Sorry Matt, carry on